You told me to return to my life before we got to know each other. So this is what I am suppose to return to:

1) A selfish bastard that would never care for anyone.
2) A degenerate gambler who will gamble with money rather than spend it.
2a) And by gambling, I mean literally take thousands at a time and gamble without reason.
3) Who didn't give a crap about his career by slacking on every detail.
4) Where only watching sports mattered and came before anyone else.
5) Thinking that there is no hope out there for me and I should just disappear from existence.

I don't want to go back to that, you gave me hope, hope that there were things to look forward to in life. You gave me something to shoot for, a reason to focus myself on the things that really mattered. You gave me reason to learn to be a more well rounded person.

I know there has been damage done and mostly because of my actions. My only hope is time will heal it all, but not so much time that the hope is taken from me. Please don't take this hope away from me.

Again, the episode is from Season 4, Episode 12. Refer to previous entry. I should have kept my mouth shut and not said anything in the 1st place. The last thing I ever wanted was to stress her out. I must be a terrible person. It would have been fine if I was the only one feeling stressed and worried as long as she was happy. Why did I tell her I like her? I knew my personality doesn't send the greatest vibes. It would have been better to have what was inside of me a mystery to her than for her to know. I am a horrible, horrible person to have done this. 

I know I stated in my previous post that please don't take me seriously if I am talking about one of my teams. However, in this case I might have to make an exception. The Mets salvaged a 4 and 6 road trip today by taking 2 out of 3 from the Astros. Yes it was Brian Moehler pitching so they were going to score some runs. However, I do like what I am seeing from Angel Pagan and Luis Castillo of all people. Jeff Francoeur has finally taken the 1st pitch and the results show with the RBI's he's gotten over the weekend. They maybe 7.5 games out of the wildcard with 7 teams in front of them but there are stiil 2 months to be played. And with the 2nd easiest schedule in the 2nd half as well as some of their players coming back I was thinking of how a miracle can happen the rest of this summer. Three things must happen if they are to make the miracle happen:

1)They turn Citi-Field into a fortess:

A winning percentage of .700 is required at home the rest of the way. They have to take advantage of this schedule and win a lot of games, especially at home.

2) Reyes and Beltran have to return and produce:

Their line-up could look something like: Reyes, Castillo, Wright, Beltran, Francoeur, Murphy, Pagan, Santos. The Outfield will finally look like a decent one with defensively and offensively.

3) The teams ahead of them come back to the pack:

Rockies have been high for sometime now, hope they hold back. Giants lack of offense catches up to them. Brewers just collapse, Astros get old, and the teams in their division they have to beat.

If these three things happen come the last week of the season they won't be the ones in the position to choke, but have history repeat itself on the 40th Anniversary of their 1st title.